My Tinder Experience

When it comes to dating, everything is awful. Dating, especially contemporary dating, has some major occupational hazards. All of us have experienced, in one form or the other, the many types of personalities and guys that you meet on Tinder. There is a reason that #byefelipe exists, after all. There are a few kinds of men that exist on Tinder, no matter where you are in the world. In the name of ‘research’ I re-downloaded Tinder and left for a week-long vacation in Atlanta.

One of the first guys to contact me was this gem. This is the guy who messages you, “Hi” at 3 a.m. and asks if you’re awake. Why would I be awake at 3 a.m. and even if I was, why would I talk to you, strange man? Go to bed.

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Sometimes a rogue weirdo can slip under your radar. Initial Tinder conversations can move from ‘let’s chat on here’ to phone number land whenever you want it to. For the sake of Femme & Fortune, when a random guy who had been messaging me for a few days gave me his number, I texted him. We had an innocuous conversation and he asked me for drinks. My response was the below.

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Excuse me? What? Your name isn’t even in my contacts but you’re making requests for me to be monogamous? Bye.

Then there are the guys who, no matter what, need to talk to you. They’re someone who messages you multiple times with nothing other than, “Hello”, “Hi” and then likes every moment you post for a week. Never mind the simple fact that you are now 700 miles away!

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Finally, there is the type of man that we all know and love. The man who seems to think that by his basic grasp of the English language you are going to drop everything you are doing, call him and investigate the contents of his boudoir.

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To elaborate on my comment to my would-be paramour, his entire profile was devoted to his very specific skill set. Please feel free to use your imagination. I felt it was necessary to ask for references and a proficiency exam since it is important to remain objective and professional. Also, gross, gross, gross.

Tinder isn’t all bad but weeding out the weirdos can be arduous. Try to not have exceptionally high expectations and enjoy yourself. Ignore, unmatch, or even block people who cross boundaries with you. After all, it is only Tinder. Enjoy femmes!


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