That moment you find out that your partner has strayed. This may have been a long-term partner or someone new in your life but no matter what, it stings. How do you deal with something that is so hurtful? Here are few tips to help you get through these murky emotional times and come out as a better person in the end.
Assemble Your Team
Find the people who mean the most to you in this world and cover yourself in them like a giant emotional blanket. They’re the people who you need the most right now. They will remind you that you are loved, you are worthy of love, and that they will certainly never leave you. Oftentimes this involves some sort of debauchery. Celebrate who you are, in a way that makes you feel good. If that means a whole bottle of wine (or vodka) with a Taylor Swift sing-a-long, then do it. Pain is a complicated beast and it’s okay to keep it at bay while you’re dealing with the loss of a partner.
Check in With Your Inner You
Do things that celebrate what a great person you are, since that person obviously didn’t appreciate you. Hit up the gym, if that works for you. Go on long walks and soak nature in. Celebrate yourself and everything that you have done to get to where you are right at this moment in your life. You are a great person. Remind yourself of that.
It’s okay to be sad. Just don’t be sad and self-destructive. If it helps, find a therapist (a real one, not a Facebook group). Write in a journal if it makes you feel better. Cry. Cry all of the time. Cry in the shower. Cry in the bathroom at work. Let it out. Crying feels good, especially since you will have invasive thoughts about your ex and his/her atrocious behavior. If you fight them, they will take you to the ground and make you feel even worse. Recognizing that they are there, moving with them and understanding that eventually they will go away is part of the process. Again, like the great Bridget Jones said, there is always “vodka and Chaka Khan.”
Don’t go out and do something stupid. If you want to fire up Tinder, by all means do so. Getting even means that you move on to something healthier, but not extracting revenge. Revenge fantasies are okay, but there is nothing helpful about undignified behavior. Remember, this person no longer deserve your time or your attention. Honor yourself in ways that you did not before. Get a new job. Change your routines. Love yourself, which in the end is the best revenge.
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